Monday, June 29, 2009

Haiku

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Letters to Sexton

From:
STC Corp

To:
sextonjames69@gmail.com

Dear User,

Thank you for your interest in our service and to take the chance to win an apartment in Paris.

Please read below our last press release to win an apartment in Paris.

A spacious apartment on the third floor of a 1900s building a few paces away from the Champs-Elysees.

The property is located at a few paces away from the Cha
mps-Elysees.

On the third floor (with lift) of an early 1900s building, the apartment is laid out with 4 rooms in line(2 reception rooms and 2 bedrooms), each with a large French window (Southern exposure) and is very light and bright.
Reception rooms and main bedroom feature marble fireplaces, parquet wood floors and mouldings.

Bathrooms and kitchen would benefit from some modernization, but the apartment is altogether in fairly good condition.

This property represents a good investment opportunity considering the location and surface area offered.

Thank you and best regards,

STC Corp. - Happy Lottery


Dear France,

Thank you for your interest in Sexton James. Although I am flattered by your offer, I must, with a heavy heart, decline. Sexton James was born an American and Sexton James must die an American.

I have read between the lines of your letter and must admit some ill-will toward your attempt to once again ask America to save your country. Are your french men so unable to satisfy they're gorgeous fellow country-women in bed that you must now try to import Sexton James to love your entire female population over the edge of sexual ecstasy and into a new form of being that can only be described as "Sextonism?"

Shame, shame France! Sexton James CAN NOT just continent hop at the behest of foreign nations whenever they see fit! And, he CAN NOT sexualize entire countries just because their own male populace has not been adequately trained in the ways of love!

However, let it not be said that Sexton James turns a deaf ear to the pleas of love-starved females who are victims of their respective countries' sexual ineptitude. I, Sexton James, would like to offer a counter proposal.

Beginning immediately, I will start working at the highest levels to modify the U.S. Constitution to create a partnership between America and France. Said partnership shall work like this:

1. France shall export Sexual Goddesses to Sexton James.

2. Sexton James shall, in accordance with said new laws, eroticize and orgasmatize said Goddesses until their sexuality has become fully satisfied and chaffed.

3. Upon realization of Sextonization, Goddesses shall return to their county of origin and, under video surveillance by Sexton James, shall open franchise "Schools of Eroticization" and teach said skills to all who would learn.

I believe this to be a fair compromise and will work tirelessly to see it come to fruition. I will call the President of America and begin hammering out the details as soon as possible.

In closing, please don't worry, France. Sexton James is here to help you. Also, I will take it as a courtesy if all French Goddesses sent to Sexton James have been properly shaved under the arms.

Sincerely,

Sexton S. James Esq.

I will always keep you in my bed, France


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Respect! MulletMadness.com

Sexton James gives respect to this AMAZING site! Not only is it a salute to the power of the mullet, it is also THE source for new summer hairstyles and a great source of encouragement and inspiration!


Sexton James says: "Rock on you masters of the mullet!"

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Kool Cigarettes: Sexton James APPROVED!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Letters to Sexton

Hi ) the stranger!!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 5:28 PM
From:

To:
sextonjames69@gmail.com

Hello the stranger!!! I have noticed that you to search for the woman
on a site craigslist and has decided to write to you this short
message. I to hope for serious relations with the man!!! relations
which will be full of love, tendernesses and miracles. I to send you
as the photo, I to put on that I to like you. I very much would like
to learn you better. If you to want to continue our acquaintance I to
wait your return fast reply. Venera












Dear Venera,

MMM, baby. Sexton Likey! I spend most of my non-love-guruing time searching for godesses and, baby, you're one of them!

I, Sexton James, would like to extend an open invitation to sweetly, sweetly loving you the best way that Sexton James can. I have several erotic wiles with which i can enhance your womanhood to the point of near meltdown.

Please send along some of your favorite sexual positions and a copy of your last venereal screen. All of mine are being treated and yours should too, baby!

Sexton James - Doing it again!

P.S. I am posting your picture so all of my would-be lovers can see the kind of sexual being Sexton James considers. Sexton James also repects the fact that you are already drinking in your picture. From past experience, liquor seems to help Sexton in his loving.

Let it be known that Sexton is open to ALL non-American speakers of the world!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Sexton James, Love Guru Open For Business

I, Sexton James, would like to expand my offering of services to you, the sexy people of the world. From now on, you will be able to e-mail Sexton James with questions about love, sex, relationships and the sexual hunt. Any question you can ask, Sexton James can answer!

Sexton James says: "Let's talk about sex! Sexton James knows all!"


Aviator Sunglasses: Sexton James APPROVED

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Sexton James Tackles Racism

I would just like to take some time and bring up a very serious issue that has just come to my attention. According to a recent news article, it seems that some people will not love with a woman (or man) if they happen to be of a different race!

Now it is very important to me, Sexton James, that everyone realizes that Sexton James is open to ALL applicants, regardless of race, religion or physical impairment! I have, myself, loved with women from MANY different races including black and mexican.

Now please, take a look at these sexy, sexy women:


Aren't they pretty? Sexton James is fantasizing about loving with ALL FOUR of the lovely ladies right now. In fact, Sexton James is fantasizing about loving with ALL FOUR of these lovely ladies TOGETHER! So, please, don't be a non-sexy lady lover. Love all sexy ladies regardless of their race.

Sexton James says: Love ALL of God's sexy ladies. Sexton James just did!
Ah, my trusty fishnet shirt. Where would I be without this glorious apparel accessory? I definitely wouldn't be Sexton James! That's for sure!

For all of you who doubt me, I have seduced no fewer than THREE beautiful Goddesses while wearing this easy-to-remove item to my local liquor store.

Believe in Sexton James and he shall guide you to the promised land!

Schlitz Beer: Sexton James APPROVED

Welcome to Sexton James, ladies. Your lives will never be the same again!

Sexton James Has Arrived!


I am Sexton James. 3rd generation unemployed and 1st generation Love God! I spent my first forty years like everyone else, trying to climb that corporate ladder and make a few bucks for the future.

I've worked in several careers in my time; construction, retail, driving, laboring... But that's all behind me now! I've chosen to make my living by passing my many love skills onto you!

I will update this blog in between hot sex marathons with beautiful ladies to impart the skills I used to bed these fine creatures.

And don't be shy ladies! if you have any questions at all, please send off an electronic mail to my box at: sextonjames69@gmail.com